Breathe
by Nickynoo
Summary: SongFicOneShot. I can't breathe without you, but I have to. A story set after Edward leaves Bella in New Moon. Song property of Taylor Swift. Complete.


**AN: So this is set just after Edward left Bella in New Moon. Yes I know this has been done before but it's a song fiction and I really had to write it down. Basically it's the song Breathe by Taylor Swift and Colbie Caillat. I think it might be a little sad but I haven't written it yet. Hope you all enjoy. Review please.**

[Bella will be in normal font._  
__**Edward will be in bolded italics.  
**__Song lyrics will be in italics.]_

_I see your face in my mind as I drive away  
Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way  
People are people and sometimes we change our minds  
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time_

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie  
It's the kind of endin' you don't really want to see  
Cause its tragedy and it'll only bring you down  
Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple never easy  
Never a clean break, no one here to save me  
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe  
Without you, but I have to  
Breathe  
Without you, but I have to

I had to pull onto the shoulder of the road because tears were blurring my vision. It was hard to not think about him. Edward. He left me dead and now I couldn't cope anymore. I was leaving. I couldn't bear to spend anymore time in the place that I had remembered him.

I remember clearly how everyone at school would whisper when we walked by. Would say how we would be together forever. That we were the perfect couple. I guess everyone was wrong. I was wrong.

I could never stop thinking about it. Those words that fell from his ice cold lips. He didn't want me, I was just a distraction. He had changed his mind and now he didn't care about me anymore. He didn't love me. He never had, I don't know why I'd fooled myself into thinking so.

I'd felt so sure of him though. I felt like we were connected and that nothing would ever go wrong. That he would never leave. Just like the students of Forks High, I was wrong, oh so wrong. The tears pelted down and hit my chest and legs like rain. I wanted to finally stop crying. He said it would be like he never existed, but he was wrong for once. Even if I got dementia I would never forget him. I love him, is that so wrong? Even after he left me.

My radio buzzed to life. It was brand new and I hadn't turned it. It had been on all this time, just out of range. I wanted to reach for the dial and push the off button, turn the volume down, change the station. But I couldn't lift my hand off of my leg. My tears were finally dry and not running down my face. How though, I couldn't understand. Claire de Lune. It was pretty much our song. We had danced to it over and over. And now, when I wanted the tears to fall my eyes stayed dry.

I felt horrible and like I had been run over by a truck yet I pulled back out onto the road and headed on my way. My body was trembling but I didn't turn the heat on. I knew I would have nightmares though. I was trying to be cold so it felt like I was around Edward again.

I could feel myself trying to block out the thoughts but I knew that where I was going, I wanted to be thinking of Edward. I wanted him to be my only thought, the only person to envelop my mind.

How could I ever forgive myself, stop blaming myself for what had happened. It wouldn't be easy but where I was going, even though I wanted to think of Edward, I would try my hardest not to. It was never simple between us; he was always trying to protect me. Why did he bother? He knew I was going to die anyway. Maybe sooner than he expected the way I was going at the moment. He knew he was going to leave but he still kept telling me he loved me.

Well now there is no body here to stop me from being a 'danger magnet'. I could and would do whatever I wanted. Now I was starting to get angry. Clean break? Like hell it was a clean break, I would never get over this. I knew that much. I thought I had known Edward better than anything else. I thought I knew him like I knew the back of my hand. I guess I don't know my own hand very well then. I couldn't breathe without him I couldn't let my life go on while I was in such pain. It really was being like a vampire; I couldn't breathe, not without Edward.

But I have to.

_Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt  
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve  
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out  
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out_

And we know it's never simple, never easy  
Never a clean break, no one here to save me  
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe  
Without you, but I have to  
Breathe  
Without you, but I have to

_**I pulled my arm back and launched it at a nearby tree. The poor tree shattered under the force of my punch. Bella. Bella. Bella. Bella. I couldn't contemplate my actions. WHY? To keep her safe, to save her life. But you need her. I want her so badly, I love her yet I can never be with her.**_

_**Everything I had done for her, done at all had been for her. I never ever wanted to see her get hurt. I had tried to veer every tiny thing that could hurt her in life. And that included me. I had left her, to keep her safe. The only problem with that was the look on her face when I told her the worst lie of all.**_

_**What was the problem with me? I love her and I know that for some strange reason, she loves me back. Yet I left her. I guess I was wrong for leaving her, no, I had to be right. Then again sometimes things don't work out how you plan. **_

_**Could anything ever win her back? I doubted it. No, I wouldn't even try. Nothing I could say would save her feelings, save me from feeling guilty. Save us from the end product. I cried out in frustration as Alice came over to comfort me. I shooed her away, I wanted to wallow in my own self pity. **_

_**I knew it would be simple or easy. Nothing ever is for me, it never would be. I'm a vampire, that's why. The gods hate me! Gods, why can't they just smite me?! I wanted it to be a clean break, I had made sure no-one else said goodbye to her. I made it so that it would be like I had never existed in her mine. Someone would save her from dying, nobody would save me. Bella. I knew her like the back of my hand. I knew everything about her. What she looked like, what she liked, who she was. **_

_**I couldn't breathe without her. I just couldn't. **_

_It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend  
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me  
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend  
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me  
_

It was early in the morning and I couldn't sleep. I really hoped that Edward knew that this was NOT easy for me and never would be. I miss him.

_**Staring at the ceiling I wished I was lying in Bella's perfect embrace. I wanted her to know how I felt. I wanted her to know that this ain't easy for me. I wanted her.**_

_And we know it's never simple, never easy  
Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh_

I can't breathe  
Without you, but I have to  
Breathe  
Without you, but I have to  
Breathe  
Without you, but I have to

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry  
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

_**Forgive me Bella. Forgive me. I need you.**_

Come back to me Edward. "I need you" I sobbed.

_**I'm so sorry, so, so sorry. I will always love you, Bella. Always. **_

Because I can't breathe without you but I guess I'll have to.

_**Because I can't breathe without you but I guess I'll have to.**_

**AN: That was it. Random I know but whatever! I felt like writing it because I miss writing. I haven't lately. Hope you enjoyed this random little sort of depressing one-shot. Oh my gods I just realised that this is the first thing I've written that doesn't have a happy ending. Please review and let me know what you think :). **


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